I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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