You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
