I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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