marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
