Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
