I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
