that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize