imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
