I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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