So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize