I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize