I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize