I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
