The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
