If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
