it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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