I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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