You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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