He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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