just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
