Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
