Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Congratulations! We have a period
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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