5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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