Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
