I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
