I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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