Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
