dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My ATM looks so different sober.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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