you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
