help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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