I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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