i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize