Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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