The best revenge is premature balding
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
then he tried to convert me to islam
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
