i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
