I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
