You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i was born a porn star she said
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
