He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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