no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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