I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Did I show you my penis last night?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
