Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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