there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
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I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
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We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...