Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

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(850): paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury http://tfl.nu/f86j

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(904): View more from Florida

I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool

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(904): I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool http://tfl.nu/7zbx

Replies (19) Good night (655) Bad night (5500)
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(253): View more from Washington

Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt

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(253): Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt http://tfl.nu/m43s

Replies (32) Good night (1104) Bad night (5615)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

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(508): I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation? http://tfl.nu/jmz5

Replies (52) Good night (12441) Bad night (2841)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.

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(973): Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick. http://tfl.nu/r63g

Replies (7) Good night (920) Bad night (3724)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

(213): View more from California

so that means christmas in space?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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(781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx

Replies (14) Good night (7061) Bad night (1257)
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(407): View more from Florida

and now there are teeth marks on my dick.

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(407): and now there are teeth marks on my dick. http://tfl.nu/97y3

Replies (17) Good night (1285) Bad night (5630)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

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(651): I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen. http://tfl.nu/ant7

Replies (9) Good night (2470) Bad night (566)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.

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(757): I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date. http://tfl.nu/oqzd

Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (612)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.

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(647): Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face. http://tfl.nu/pfop

Replies (1) Good night (294) Bad night (697)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.

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(215): I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward. (1-215): ... (215): I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure. http://tfl.nu/h70g

Replies (5) Good night (945) Bad night (377)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

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(248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0

Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (346)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.

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(202): Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want. http://tfl.nu/8zxe

Replies (11) Good night (1637) Bad night (348)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.

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(260): Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message. http://tfl.nu/4llk

Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (211)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.

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(201): But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling. http://tfl.nu/g0mj

Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (276)

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