Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....

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(510): View more from California

The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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(305): View more from Florida

she said she was living bicuriously through me.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.

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(386): View more from Florida

It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina

(386): View more from Florida

It really is the softest mustache

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(651): View more from Minnesota

They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...

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(905): View more from Ontario

I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.

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