scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
