Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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