Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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