Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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