I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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