4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
