He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
