i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
