i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize