For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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