if i died would you start the facebook group?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm too high and old for this...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
