garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
