based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
