Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize