im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
